The book “The Red Light District” has two basic concepts the first being that in America we select our romantic partners for dating and the second being that in the selection process equals are attracted to each other. Given these two trends, there are two “therefores”: success in dating is best achieved by identifying and upgrading all the areas in your life that are disadvantaging you in the dating world and by increasing your ability to correctly assess potential partners as you meet them and get to know them.
In the romantic comedy “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” Toula is 30 years old, unmarried, letting life happen to her and being stuck working in the family restaurant with little hope of having a romance. In what could be seen as an early midlife crisis she begins gradually to assert her true desires of what she wants to be as a woman, of an education and a career. With support from her mother and later her aunt she enters school and begins to transform herself physically to begin to show the world that she is a woman who wants to be noticed and included. The movie shows her transformation physically, intellectually and emotionally as she struggles to break the bonds that have held back her life. She poured herself into her transformation not specifically to transform herself and not specifically to find romance, but merely to begin to take charge of her life instead of letting life just happen to her. In the process her transformation dramatically increased the likelihood that romance would have a real chance in her life and that romance would include a quality partner rather than a “settle for” partner.
The movie also illustrates the process of resolving serious yellow light issues that left unaddressed would likely have ended Toula’s romance with Ian before it had a chance to grow. However, even if that relationship had ended, it was clear that having come this far in transforming her life, in self-actualization, she was on a path that would surely lead her to meet other men she would like to date and ultimately find an appropriate partner.
It’s an interesting world.